The Phil Philes

Emperor The Phil: Supreme Ruler of the universe, Phil creates Philpower, Can do anything, generally lives in Fort Phil, and enjoys everything that he likes, including being awesome.
Queen Phillis: Wife of The Phil, Phillis lives in his castle, is made of plastic, she looks like Phil, she governs Philtopia, has her own Philian cruiser to bring her to bed, and enjoys breathing (air).

Chairman Charles: Chairman of the Council of Phil, Charles is a retired General, he knows everything, was The Phil’s mentor, and is third in command of the entire Phildom (everything).
Eggward The Earl: Ruler of the senate (but under Phil’s orders), Eggward is Phil’s partial apprentice, revises the laws, serves and an ambassador, and is in the shape of an egg.
Ambassador Arnold: Helping The Phil with political issues, Arnold also searches for pontikis on his travels, he is a flying ninja who can help fight when needed, and he prefers the scenic route.
Governor Garfunkle: As mayor of Philville and governor of the province Philiosant, Garfunkle is in charge of all taxes on Philton and decides what to do with it, he also universalized language.
Agent George: Phil’s personal assistant, George is the governor of Georguhh, master of Phil’s servants; he has connections to almost everyone, and uses his cigar-saber combo to be awesome.

Chief Rick: Police Chief in Philville, Rick is also the master judge and jury of Philperior Court, can instantly decide to prosecute or execute people without trial, and is king of law enforcement.
Bounty-Hunter Bill: Having a really cool nickname, Bill “Coner” Coningham is Phil’s bounty-hunter and best friend, he has a propeller sticking out of his head, plus he is a tactics advisor.

Robot Douglas: Constructed by Bill, Douglas is one of the few robot-pontikis and assists Bill on missions, some people state that he cannot talk, but Bill argues that he “never shuts up.”
Robot Milton: Also built by Bill, Milton is an egg who doesn’t always think things through and just does them, as far as talking goes, he’s just about the opposite from Douglas.
Robot Gerald: As a robot built by Bill, he must have some flaw but nobody has seen one yet, he assists Bill, he’s a pilot, and is one of two co-commanders of the Philian Corps of Engineering.
Robot Mike: Also related to Henry and Harold, Mike was so badly injured in a crash that he had to have his body rebuilt by Bill, he co-commands the Philian Corps of Engineering with Gerald.

Lieutenant General Larry: The Commander of The Phildom Military, Philofficers are appointed by him, he was attacked by a Chinese submarine when he was little and he now despises them.
Major General Trevor: Generally serving as the queen’s bodyguard, Trevor quickly rose through the ranks of the army to his position by using the sword and shield attached to his body.
Admiral Henry: Closely related to Harold, Henry is majorly awesome, can fire snot out of his nose at the speed of sound, is friends with George and serves as a patrolman around Fort Phil.
Captain Steve: With the ability to find basically anything, Steven is a scout who hovers around and is responsible for helping locate any large enemy bases too close to the Phildom.
Colonel Q-bert: The all-time champion of the video game, Q-bert played it for two months straight, he owns, and he also trains soldiers to the Special Forces First Legionary Division.

Officer Oliver: With a large cannon mounted on his back, Oliver’s pretty awesome, he usually ends up doing stuff for the military, even though he’s green, and his guard dog is called Isaac.
Chester: The royal messenger to The Phil, Chester is a cross between a pontiki and Phord GT, called a chovica, he travels through hyperspace to deliver messages; he’s the fastest thing ever.
Dr. Milfred: Bringing joy to “emos,” Milfred is a special kind of therapist that works for anyone in the Mountain Command Core at the top of Mount Phil, Milfred enjoys being depressed.

Agent Beth: One of The Phil’s spies, Beth is like a pink version of the Hulk, when her anger level tops 9k she gets more Philpower, she has a son with -?- who is named Louis (Little Louie).
Louis: Beth’s son with -?-, Louis is a very small little guy with no arms, he has a disease which forces him to remain in a kid’s body forever, even The Phil can’t do anything to help him.
Isaac and Evan: Part pontiki-part dog, Isaac and Lenny are creatures that belong to Oliver and Milfred, they are the same color as their owners, Isaac is a bloodhound, and Milfred owns Evan.

Leader Moe: Ruler of Moecurry Town, Moe looks like a duck, is egg-shaped and governs a large piece of land; his people worship him but he relies on his assistant to give him advice.
Assistant Curly: Not actually curly or in any other relatively curved shape, Curly is an extremely smart person, does a lot of Moe’s work, and non-locals realize that he is more skilled than Moe.
Council-Leader Harold: A leader of Harolton City, he likes to poke people, Harold, Moe, and Curly all vanished, right after becoming the first pontikis to meet Phil as he arrived on Philton.

Count Firby: A mutant with super-strength, Count Firby is Phil’s bodyguard, he has arms made of near-invisible Philpower energy, one eye is mechanical, and he can do pull-ups with his ears.
Timmy the Troll and Dindo: A large troll with yellow hair, Timmy is a spy for The Phil, Dindo’s brown hair envelopes him, and he believes that video games give you absolute power.

Captain: A legonian with ultra awesome skills, Captain and his team work for The Phil, if he takes off his captain-hat the universe explodes; he drives a car and operates from a castle or tank.
Brown Captain: Piloting an old-fashioned jetfighter, Brown Captain is relatively wise compared to a few other captains, he carries around a one-of-a-kind vintage pistol that fires unique rounds.
White Captain: Carrying a hi-tech lasergun, White Captain captains a single-man battleship with a large turret and a giant missile; he sometimes guards The Phil’s yacht, the Sea Ray Mark IV.
Gray Captain: Using an infinitely sharp buzz-saw, Gray Captain rides an ultra awesome speeder so that he can get in and out of his vehicle in a matter of seconds for secret hit-and-run missions.
Blue Captain: With a shovel and a blue tuxedo, Blue Captain flies a triangular shaped star fighter with twin ion cannons that can do infinite barrel-roles without the seat changing direction.
Purple Captain: Holding a magnifying glass that can start fires instantly, Purple Captain drives the Knight Bus which used to belong to Harry Potter before it was captured by The Phil’s forces.
Red Captain: Able to shoot multiple targets with his dual blasters, Red Captain commands a lone wolf assault tank, it has dual cannons and is so heavily armored that it can deflect RPG fire.
Maroon Captain: The captain superhero with a tiny cape, Maroon Captain operates an ultra-light glider with lasers, dragonskin wings, and a special engine, he thinks maroon’s better than red.
The Captain ninjas: A small group of captains, The captain ninjas wear black like captain and red bandannas, they carry pistols, and they share a few vehicles, but they are not quite captains.

Humpty Dumpty and Mack: Humpty Dumpty is The Phil’s Doorman who is helped by his twin, Mack is in charge of maintaining Fort Phil, but he is very lazy and The Phil has to do it himself.
The royal family: The royal family from some random place, their family of four lives in Fort Phil, they are all on the Council of Phil, and they are so fat they are as wide as they are tall.
The Other Wofflians: There are two knights on horseback that guard Fort Phil, there is also a farmer who grows food for The Phil; the last person is some random girl who lives in a shelter.

Evil Lord Robo Harry Potter: The leader of the evil rebellion, Harry has an abnormally large helmet bigger than a medium-sized planet; he takes pride in the 400000 person operating team.
Commander Robo Ron Weasley: Having his 24 ft. tall helmet, Ron is second in command of the rebellion, he is slightly agile, can operate his own helmet, and likes to play with large chainsaws.
Emperor Albus Dumbledore: The original ruler of the random planet Harry now controls, Dumbledore was pushed off Mount Phil and is trapped forever unless somebody does something.

Duchess Hermione Granger: The only smart person around, Hermione facilitates the workings of the empire and the planets it controls; she manages all the affairs and gets no credit for it.
Duchess Ginny Weasley: Being Ron’s Brother, Ginny ranks very high in the evil army, of course, dating Harry doesn’t hurt either; Ginny doesn’t wear a helmet, unlike everybody else.
Count Longbottom: With an entire fleet under his control, Neville can really screw things up; his accidents help The Phil to conquer more enemy territory thanks to his horribly pathetic mistakes.
General Hagrid: A super-strong half-giant, Hagrid is one of the only really good fighters in Harry’s army; Hagrid kills his enemies by secretly slipping his cooking into their supplies.
Man-borg: A giant technic cyborg of death, Man-borg is capable of mass destruction when he gets aggrevated, he is super strong but got blown up so many times there is not much person left.

Lord Voldemort: It was all his fault that Hogwarts was transported into the Phildom in the first place, Voldemort escaped when they arrived, his horcrux helps prevent Lord Harry from dying.

Extra: Phil’s commanders are called Philofficers (spelt similar to philosophers). The ranks of the rebellion go by size of helmet (from mountains, to large, to regular, to hats, to none). Legonians, Philians, Philenese, Pontikis, Moecurry, Georgeuuns, Haroltons, and The-Philish are the different kinds of people that live on Philton and the inner ring. Phil and the other Pontikis were the survivors of the crash of the Pontike VI. They are the only Pontikis left. Phil was destined to lead them and the universe. Phil’s full name is: Phil, The. His last name is The and he has no middle name. Fort Phil is located in Philville on Mount Phil, the largest mountain on the planet. Phil is the only person capable of using the full Philpower. He can give some of it to other Pontikis, but not all the powers. Count Firby was hit with Philtonium and his mutant DNA fused with it to give him arms. Ron Weasley fell into the Philtonium pit. Harry Potter crashed into a Philtonium barrier and was drenched in Philtonium. They stole some Philpower during this so Phil cannot kill them with Philpower. Philver and Phillings are used for currency, and Phlatinum is a very rare substance. Philtonium is used in Philpower with something that only Phil knows.


In Philian, the letter “F” is used in very few words (i.e.: off, and of). The letters “PH” replace it most of the time. Philenese has every “F” replaced (off=ophph). Philish is in between these two. In Philish, words are spelt the way they sound (of=uv, off=oph, have=hav). Also, in Philish, T’s are written with the sides pointed up. Philish is the master language of the Phildom.

The story of Harry Potter: In a desperate attempt to kill Harry, Lord Voldemort uses a new spell which reacts badly with Harry’s spell and opens a portal to another dimension. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore, Voldemort, and all of Hogwarts get teleported out of J.K. Rowling’s imagination and into the Phildom. They soon learn that a dictator controls the entire universe. Harry’s anger at Voldemort leads him to try to start a new empire, even though the Phildom is awesome and everybody loves Phil and the Phildom. Harry is in a very remote part and so he and the other wizards from his school start a small independent nation with as many supporters as they could get (not very much). They also bewitch the rest of their planet to help them. Dumbledore becomes the emperor of their piece-of-crap little empire.

Even with all of this, you forgot to mention the geometric shape of each pontiki character, and sometimes the color. I think there's also a few typos. like "it can do infinite barrel roles." I think you mean "rolls" because Blue Captain's ship doesn't do that kind of "roles."

So...did you make up "The Phil"?

Yes, alex made up Phil when he was given a 'Pontiki" (look it up) as a gift. He named it Phil and he invented a complex story to go with him...and the rest is history.